To the tune of Barenaked Ladies Three Weeks: It's been three weeks since the England trip. Turned my head round and I was comin' back.
I could try to keep going with that silly verse, but my point is that it feels like just yesterday I had airport troubles(to the tune of a 9 hour delay between two airports) and then was uploading photos of my trip to Facebook. I know everyone in my class has had work or school since returning- I haven't heard much from LH or AG especially(sad!)- and I myself have lost track of summer. It's August 25th, with just over a week left before I moved back into my house in Rhode Island and already I have attended one wedding, one night of karaoke, one night of a 90s cover band, several girls nights(complete with popcorn!), had a few bottles of Pumpkinhead and Octoberfest, gone to a drive in movie for Despicable Me 2, several movies(Red 2, We're the Millers, The World's End, etc.) and so much more. In the remaining week, I hope to visit my friend's camp, attend a fair, finish packing, finish my 15-20 page paper(yes, even I still have a little left. But mostly the bibliography and like a page, so that counts for something) and drink plenty of pumpkin iced coffee.
In the time that I have been back, I have shared many a story from my travels. I have way to many photos- no one person(minus myself) has seen them all. Paris contains almost 200, Scotland almost 600, and Harry Potter holds almost 700. I think... Many people love hearing my story about how I went on a date with a Scottish guy. And I am glad that I did, I think it has given me some confidence and level of assurance that I didn't have before. In fact, I have been chatting with a nice guy this month and find myself not thinking too far forward. I miss London, there was so much to see and everything was very close- everywhere I have gone this summer has been 15-90 minute drive away. Except Moosehead Lake, that was almost 4 hours. But very fun and the kayaking story deserves to be told.
So it was out first full day there, out of three total days, and BC and myself decided to go kayaking. Now while I don't own my own kayak(yet) I absolutely love it. I only ride single, the doubles remind me too much of canoing- which I hate with a passion. So we head out, I in the single and BC in the double, and go to a small island slightly off our shore. We "park" and look around, BC asks me "where do you want to go next?" to which I look further from where we are and spot a nice island with big green trees and some landing rocks. I say "how about that island?" BC doesn't protest and we head out. And we paddle. More paddling. We had some footage between us so neither one of us was sharing their idea that this island seemed a little too far and that the travel on the waves seemed much too easy. We got there, eventually, but couldn't park because the waves were almost crashing our boats to the rocks. So, we tried turning around and found the waves were pretty sizable. We had to paddle a lot harder. We went to the shore, on the opposite side of our camp, and discovered we must have been at least a mile or two from the camp. With the large waves, it took us a lot longer to paddle back. Apparently BC was swearing, again we were at a distance due to paddling, but I was the least of our worries that week(her grandmother is a little schedule happy and it got on her nerves). However, it has been deemed that I am not to pick where we go again- hopefully this just means kayak-wise. Its definitely one of those look-back-and-be-funny tales.
This year is going to be a busy one. I quit Dunkin in May, before the summer hit, so that when I left for England I had two graduate assistanceships, three classes, and one of which is an internship. When I came back in August, my boss from the spring told me my schedule was too busy to work for her. So, I went down to one graduate assistanceship. I am quite excited about this one because I like the people I work for and the project is cataloging- which I will have proper training and therefore learn tons by. I am also excited for my internship, on digital literacy, which kicks off in my first full school week. The classes might prove a challenge, but they pertain to public libraries and I want some class principles as well as first hand experience. I have an interview lined up for a part-time library when I come back as well as communications with a public library I worked at last year on Sundays. Needless to say, I am keeping a better daily planner this year. I don't even want to think about spring, when its comps season and graduation. Jinkies!
For now, I am going to eat grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, Octoberfest, and blueberries. Ahh, summertime in Maine and the livin' is breezy. I always hope for a breeze anyways, it keeps the mosquitos away!
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Relations, Not Relationships
I'm about to get philosophical and go on a teenage-rant,bare with me.
It's interesting, the way people think. You spend time getting to know them and still there is much you might never know. Some people believe that a person's past is behind them, but is it really? Their choices then(the past) influence their future choices. They might say that one girlfriend was a mistake, that the situation was undesirable, but might they not pick a future mate that is exactly the same? As I type this blog, it occurs to me that, since the time I started dating, I have been attracted to the same kind of guy. The guy who has all of the comic book geek-confidence/knowledge in the world but is trying to be something that they think is expected of them. Whether it is to go to college, run a business, be something their father could not be for them, or be "the" man, their goals, usually subconscious, keep them from seeing the future clearly. It blinds them. Again and again, the men I put time and effort into fit this ideal. (In writing this, I hope to teach myself a lesson. Stand back a little longer, observe a little more, and only go for men who are already successful maybe?)
And its a little silly too, not being able to see this (the scope of which is anywhere from two months to two and a half years) because they all have the same tell-tale signs. When I meet them, there is usually a girl they like of which there is unfinished business. But, since the past isn't suppose to matter, I don't ask. These characters play out into our conversations, either as part of a circle of college friends or the girl that is dating/married to their good friend. The point is that, for some reason, my friends can have a hunch about these women- long before they might become a problem- but I find myself continuously blindsided. They(my friends) might off-handedly tell me their concerns, but I want to give these guys a fair chance. In the most recent case, I asked the guy I was into about a girl in his profile picture- whether he was into her or not- because my friend said that was a red flag for her. In honest, he told me in detail why she was not his type. What I didn't know, what that a girl (in a closer pair of his married friends) was.
And usually when it all comes out, they still try to justify their decisions to you. "I wasn't lying to you. Everything I said to you was honest right up until..." that moment when it isn't. When suddenly the "other woman", the one that blindsides me, shares her feelings. She just can't hold her feelings for him any longer, so she tells him, and he caves because he secretly wanted her as well. Be it Christmas tree hunting with her family, about to move to New Mexico for a job, or freshly with a baby and a divorce, they make a move. Just before he is about to go on a date, move into our first apartment, prove he is a changed man- at any of these stages, she shows up and overrides any progress he and I have made.
And these guys think that it makes logical sense to lace their "sorry"s with their deep feelings for this new girl, as if it will make everything "click" to you. To tell you how much this girl means to them, that they have been there(waiting in the sidelines) for a while, biding their time until their husband, boyfriend, job, etc. allows this girl to come back to them. The worst part? You know they fear their new relationship will be doomed- subconsciously to them- because they ask you, in one form or another, to be friends. You didn't mean enough to them to continue down a path with you, but they want you to forgive them and continue being the awesome/cute/fun friend. The smart thing here, is to say no. At least 3 out of 5 times, I have stayed true and bowed out. It is tough, to come to this decision, but typically they do not really want to be friends(it was a pleasantry) or they are keeping you as a secret back-up. Either way, it hurts like hell to watch them with someone else, whether it was this girl or an entirely new one. But it is a bit easier this time because he fell for the girl with a kid. Not my cup of tea. The baby-mama drama and/or babies in general.
At the end of all of this, I find myself more glad for England and Scotland. I don't think I will want to come back this summer, but when I am there I at least want to see if I can meet a man- not a boy like these others- that proves to me there is something else out there. It would be wonderful if these men could come in the form of David Tennant, Kit Harrington, or Bennedict Cumberbatch. Anyways, as I infuse humour into this situation, I realize that there are men outside of my home-state and the more I travel the more I will likely see them. Better still, I realize that maybe I am not ready to date because the men from 22-25 are complete idiots; they have not accomplished anything with their life. You know what they say, women mature faster than men.
It's interesting, the way people think. You spend time getting to know them and still there is much you might never know. Some people believe that a person's past is behind them, but is it really? Their choices then(the past) influence their future choices. They might say that one girlfriend was a mistake, that the situation was undesirable, but might they not pick a future mate that is exactly the same? As I type this blog, it occurs to me that, since the time I started dating, I have been attracted to the same kind of guy. The guy who has all of the comic book geek-confidence/knowledge in the world but is trying to be something that they think is expected of them. Whether it is to go to college, run a business, be something their father could not be for them, or be "the" man, their goals, usually subconscious, keep them from seeing the future clearly. It blinds them. Again and again, the men I put time and effort into fit this ideal. (In writing this, I hope to teach myself a lesson. Stand back a little longer, observe a little more, and only go for men who are already successful maybe?)
And its a little silly too, not being able to see this (the scope of which is anywhere from two months to two and a half years) because they all have the same tell-tale signs. When I meet them, there is usually a girl they like of which there is unfinished business. But, since the past isn't suppose to matter, I don't ask. These characters play out into our conversations, either as part of a circle of college friends or the girl that is dating/married to their good friend. The point is that, for some reason, my friends can have a hunch about these women- long before they might become a problem- but I find myself continuously blindsided. They(my friends) might off-handedly tell me their concerns, but I want to give these guys a fair chance. In the most recent case, I asked the guy I was into about a girl in his profile picture- whether he was into her or not- because my friend said that was a red flag for her. In honest, he told me in detail why she was not his type. What I didn't know, what that a girl (in a closer pair of his married friends) was.
And usually when it all comes out, they still try to justify their decisions to you. "I wasn't lying to you. Everything I said to you was honest right up until..." that moment when it isn't. When suddenly the "other woman", the one that blindsides me, shares her feelings. She just can't hold her feelings for him any longer, so she tells him, and he caves because he secretly wanted her as well. Be it Christmas tree hunting with her family, about to move to New Mexico for a job, or freshly with a baby and a divorce, they make a move. Just before he is about to go on a date, move into our first apartment, prove he is a changed man- at any of these stages, she shows up and overrides any progress he and I have made.
And these guys think that it makes logical sense to lace their "sorry"s with their deep feelings for this new girl, as if it will make everything "click" to you. To tell you how much this girl means to them, that they have been there(waiting in the sidelines) for a while, biding their time until their husband, boyfriend, job, etc. allows this girl to come back to them. The worst part? You know they fear their new relationship will be doomed- subconsciously to them- because they ask you, in one form or another, to be friends. You didn't mean enough to them to continue down a path with you, but they want you to forgive them and continue being the awesome/cute/fun friend. The smart thing here, is to say no. At least 3 out of 5 times, I have stayed true and bowed out. It is tough, to come to this decision, but typically they do not really want to be friends(it was a pleasantry) or they are keeping you as a secret back-up. Either way, it hurts like hell to watch them with someone else, whether it was this girl or an entirely new one. But it is a bit easier this time because he fell for the girl with a kid. Not my cup of tea. The baby-mama drama and/or babies in general.
At the end of all of this, I find myself more glad for England and Scotland. I don't think I will want to come back this summer, but when I am there I at least want to see if I can meet a man- not a boy like these others- that proves to me there is something else out there. It would be wonderful if these men could come in the form of David Tennant, Kit Harrington, or Bennedict Cumberbatch. Anyways, as I infuse humour into this situation, I realize that there are men outside of my home-state and the more I travel the more I will likely see them. Better still, I realize that maybe I am not ready to date because the men from 22-25 are complete idiots; they have not accomplished anything with their life. You know what they say, women mature faster than men.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
What Do Iron Man, Captain America, and Green Arrow Have in Common?
Today's blog is about theories. Now hang in there, don't click away. I got thinking yesterday, as I watched Supernatural Saturday, that maybe there can be a lot to tell about a man when he admits his favourite comic book hero. That's the one thing all my love interests, exes and crushes alike, have had in common; A love of comic books. It might not be all of them, it might just be DC Comics or Marvel but there is a clear winner in their minds. I'd really like to figure this out.
So, my first boyfriend (from the summer going into my high school freshman year) was a big fan of Iron Man. In fact, the second time we dated he had gone out to Phoenix and claimed to have started up a project with some buddies where they were trying to recreate the Iron Man suit(from the first movie). Nerds, nerds with computer science. What are Iron Man's qualities? Well, the Avengers movie dubbed them quite well: billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. He's quite invested in technology which has made him quite a lot of money. He has been known to have many women, until he starts to settle down for Pepper Potts. Did my ex share these qualities with Iron Man? Yes and no. He was no billionaire, but he dreamed of working for Google...and running his own computer firm..and this job and that job. So rather than develop and enhance humanity, he would rather get ahead in life for himself. Like Tony Stark, he shared a large ego and practiced his "charm" with many women. This desire, combined with many other things, led to us dating and breaking up three times. Besides, I am no Pepper Potts. And they don't even end up together in the comics.
Let's flash forward to college, when I started to have a sense of what I wanted in a boyfriend. My first college boyfriend loved Captain America. Oddly enough, the man I dated after him(and consequentally my last college boyfriend) also had Captain America as his favourite. Captain America in the film that came out, from what I can tell, is the same in the comics. The origin of Captain America is that he has a love of his country but is not viewed as the right kind of soldier for the Army. Not giving up on his drive, he descovers the Super Soldier initiative and thus becomes the Cap we know today. So what does that have to do with my college exes? Well the first ex was studying to be a history teacher and decided that he was going to do whatever it took to get there: even if it meant moving out of state and not starting a family anytime soon. We broke up after a few months, as his graduation date was coming up and mine was not for another two and a half years. Looking back as a five year older version of myself, I can respect that drive as I myself am going to graduate school to pursue my passion for the library.
The last guy I dated in college, I think, wantedd to aspire to be Captain America. He was the first in his family, for some time, to go to college. But what did he want to do? He began college before I got there, left before we met. When we started dating, a few months in he came back and tried again. Alas, what he wanted to do for a career was a taboo topic and I had to simply watch as he was forced to leave college a second time. He stayed in our college town and watched many of our friends graduate, which tested our relationship more than once. As I was about to graduate, looking to move in with a man I could see a future with, he proposed a new solution: a break-up. He was moving out of state and our two and a half years were finished. While he looked to Captain America as an idol, it was not because he saw himself behind Cap's shield, but because he wanted to see himself there but couldn't figure out the how.
These sorts of observations have led me to believe that there is much comic books can tell us about ourselves. They are suppose to resonate with us on some level, intended for alluring many kinds of people, and that's why there are so many different ones. While I don't know what my love of Spiderman says about me, I can't help but wonder what Green Arrow says about my new crush. At this point I know barely anything about the Green Arrow but I can promise you one thing: I am going to be doing my research. This includes Smallville, the CW show Arrow, and multiple pages of reading.
And this is what happens when you have English as your undergraduate.
So, my first boyfriend (from the summer going into my high school freshman year) was a big fan of Iron Man. In fact, the second time we dated he had gone out to Phoenix and claimed to have started up a project with some buddies where they were trying to recreate the Iron Man suit(from the first movie). Nerds, nerds with computer science. What are Iron Man's qualities? Well, the Avengers movie dubbed them quite well: billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. He's quite invested in technology which has made him quite a lot of money. He has been known to have many women, until he starts to settle down for Pepper Potts. Did my ex share these qualities with Iron Man? Yes and no. He was no billionaire, but he dreamed of working for Google...and running his own computer firm..and this job and that job. So rather than develop and enhance humanity, he would rather get ahead in life for himself. Like Tony Stark, he shared a large ego and practiced his "charm" with many women. This desire, combined with many other things, led to us dating and breaking up three times. Besides, I am no Pepper Potts. And they don't even end up together in the comics.
Let's flash forward to college, when I started to have a sense of what I wanted in a boyfriend. My first college boyfriend loved Captain America. Oddly enough, the man I dated after him(and consequentally my last college boyfriend) also had Captain America as his favourite. Captain America in the film that came out, from what I can tell, is the same in the comics. The origin of Captain America is that he has a love of his country but is not viewed as the right kind of soldier for the Army. Not giving up on his drive, he descovers the Super Soldier initiative and thus becomes the Cap we know today. So what does that have to do with my college exes? Well the first ex was studying to be a history teacher and decided that he was going to do whatever it took to get there: even if it meant moving out of state and not starting a family anytime soon. We broke up after a few months, as his graduation date was coming up and mine was not for another two and a half years. Looking back as a five year older version of myself, I can respect that drive as I myself am going to graduate school to pursue my passion for the library.
The last guy I dated in college, I think, wantedd to aspire to be Captain America. He was the first in his family, for some time, to go to college. But what did he want to do? He began college before I got there, left before we met. When we started dating, a few months in he came back and tried again. Alas, what he wanted to do for a career was a taboo topic and I had to simply watch as he was forced to leave college a second time. He stayed in our college town and watched many of our friends graduate, which tested our relationship more than once. As I was about to graduate, looking to move in with a man I could see a future with, he proposed a new solution: a break-up. He was moving out of state and our two and a half years were finished. While he looked to Captain America as an idol, it was not because he saw himself behind Cap's shield, but because he wanted to see himself there but couldn't figure out the how.
These sorts of observations have led me to believe that there is much comic books can tell us about ourselves. They are suppose to resonate with us on some level, intended for alluring many kinds of people, and that's why there are so many different ones. While I don't know what my love of Spiderman says about me, I can't help but wonder what Green Arrow says about my new crush. At this point I know barely anything about the Green Arrow but I can promise you one thing: I am going to be doing my research. This includes Smallville, the CW show Arrow, and multiple pages of reading.
And this is what happens when you have English as your undergraduate.
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